If you grew up with abuse as a child,
In any shape or form
Each time your authorities beat you,
Guilted, shamed you and
Made you into nothing
For whatever so-called mistakes you made,
Verbally and non-verbally,
They would say, it is because
They loved you and cared about you,
Or each time they rewarded you
With affection and things, they'd say
It's because you were being a good child,
So they loved you
Does it sound familiar?
As a result of it, how much of your life
Have you spent believing that
Love means this punishment-reward system,
Love means pain, and pain means love,
Love means no pain, no gain
Love means macho up, you must not cry
You must not fear
Crying and fear is weak
Get over with it already
You must not laugh too much
You must not cry too much
You must not feel too much
You must think too much
You must not talk too much
As though too much of anything
Is a judgable crime,
In order to get the so-called love,
You have to pay with suppressing you,
With guilt and shame,
With punishment?
How much of your life
Have you experienced
Pain after pain
Heartache after heartache
Tears after tears
Bleeding in your veins
From relationship to relationship
In every area of your life
During your adulthood
Thinking and believing
Pain is all you know
Pain is all there is for you
It becomes your normal reality
This is how you are supposed to live
This is the total sum of your life,
And that is it for you?
Is it true?
Does it feel light or heavy as hell for you?
Whatever feels lighter is always true for you
Whatever feels heavier is always a lie
As the golden child of God that you are
As Oneness with God as God that you are,
You are born to have and be joy
You are born to be happy and free
It is your God's birthright
It is what God desires for you,
Not suffering
Not being anybody else
Other than YOU
So what did you define as love and life
That actually isn't?
And how much of the lie that
Love means pain, pain means love
Life means pain, pain means life
Is what you perceived, picked up
And took on as your own
From all those who taught you and
Anybody else, your society, culture,
You name it,
When it wasn't?
A little, a lot or all of it?
How many lifetimes have you bought
And carried it around as yours,
Repeating lifetime after lifetime
When it wasn't even yours
From the first place?
Everything that is, would you like
To uncreate, delete, destroy and
Return it all to senders please?
If you truly believed
Life is pain, and that's it for you,
You wouldn't have been here
Keeping standing
Keeping walking
Keeping finding your truth
Keeping going for you
Because you know
Life as pain is not the way to live
There is something else possible
There is something else
Way greater than this
You deserve way better than this
You deserve all the best
The world and God have to offer you
What is it that you know
You are searching for?
You are searching for happiness
You are searching for total freedom
What if that happiness and total freedom
Is YOU
Without conditions
Without having to be anybody else
Without rewards and punishment
Without guilt and shame?
Does it feel lighter for you?
What if you know the 'no pain no gain' system
With suppressing, denying, minimizing,
Dismissing, ignoring and
Neglecting your own pain
That you were taught
No longer works for you?
What if it is safe and possible to feel pain
Instead of suppressing it?
What if feeling it fully
Opens up to infinite possibilities
That you know are always possible?
It is this deep pain beyond words
That has become fuel
That has turned into
An unquenchable flame
Burning deep within you
That gets you to keep going
To ride this epic journey of a warrior
To discover your truth
To receive your pure heart
And reclaim YOU
It is this deep pain that allows you to receive
How gigantic, loving and caring
You and your heart are
It is this deep pain that allows you to
To receive your total allowance of you to be
It is this deep pain that allows you
To deeply understand others' pain
And allow them to be
It is this deep pain that allows you to
To smash lies out of existence
To awake and remember your soul and God
It is this deep pain that allows you to receive
How strong and powerful you innately are
From your pure heart
This is when pain becomes a blessing
When we are ready and willing to seize it
This is the ultimate purpose of pain
It is not here as a curse
It is not here to hold on to it
It is not here to suffer as a punishment
It is not here to repeat it over and over again
As a necessity in order to call it a life
It is not life
It is survival and abuse
You are not here to suffer abuse,
What if you are not here to just survive,
But to thrive and shine your light
In full force
With joy and ease?
What if this is the true life you are meant to live?
Because that life is God's light
Because that life is God's pure love
Because that life is YOU
Would you like to receive it all for you?
Would you like to receive that
You are free to and cry
As much as you would like?
Would you like to receive that
It is safe and possible for you
To feel pain deeply
To allow it to be
With kindness and gentleness
To embrace it wholeheartedly
To hold space for it fully
To be vulnerable with it completely
To crack your heart open
To merge your heart
As One with God
Whole and complete
Bright and brilliant
Joyful and blissful
Magical and miraculous
Alive and awake
Spectacular and glorious
Absolutely and totally free
Spreading your wings
Wide and open
Shining your light for all eternity
As God's magnificent phoenix
As God's warrior of spirit
As God's sparkling pearl
As God's eternal life
Called the Magnificent YOU
You got this. One step at a time.
- Phuong
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- For my book Ignite Your Soul Alive:
