What did you define as kindness that actually isn't? Kindness doesn't just mean being nice and keeping silent when your boundary is crossed thinking you gotta be nice Kindness doesn't just mean being a doormat Kindness doesn't just mean saying yes when you want to say no Kindness includes saying a strong, firm no even if others don't like it I hope this resonates with you and is helpful for you. Always choose what is true for you, which always feels lighter. Go for lightness, always. You got this. One step at a time.